Life of An Emotional Eater

Well, I didn't want to do it, but I decided it is in the best interest to start. I got onto the scale and my heart sunk. I am now 205.6 pounds and a ghastly 32.2 BMI (Body Mass Index). My heart sunk. How could I have gotten so big so fast? According to the website http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ My Body Mass Index Scale should be somewhere between 125.0 and 168.5 pounds. So just for me to be in the "healthy" range, I would need to lose 37.1 pounds. The last time I weighed 168 pounds was when I left Army Basic Training in the early 1990's. Now I have to shave off 37 pounds just to get back to what I was then. With all my complaining and bitching about the military and what it puts people through, I guess there are a few things they know and understand; body weight ratios is one of them. Though, in my defense, I have never had a nutrition class or a class on how to maintain a healthy weight. No help with the feelings I have around food, about food, or myself for that matter. It pains me to see that scale and to see the blob of fat that has gathered around my middle.

I am at the point where I am not aure if I want to continue with this or if it is even a good idea for me to start the task of cutting 37 pounds from my body. And I am at that point and I haven't even really begun the process. There is a mental upheaval in me, and all I have done was get a scale, get on and decide I want to loose weight. There is a saying "The hardest thing to do is get started" and in this endeavor, it is rearing its ugly head. I just hope this is the hardest part of this whole thing, but we will have to see. I would say "wish me luck" but I don't think luck will have anything to do with this. I think me getting control of my eating will involve me getting control of me.

But, I do know that my knees, hips and lower back are in constant pain. It is difficult for me to step out of my car without great effort. I look at my dad and sisters and see the health problems we have. Type II diabetes is a big fear that is driving me to start this long, emotionally tasking process. The issues of heart attacks, congestive heart failure, arthritis, lack of energy and the possibility that some day, I may not be able to have a family or be here to see grand kids should I be given the opportunity. But how do you combat the fear of these with the emotional and psychological crap that surrounds food? It is hard for me to fathom this process and I give the greatest respects to those who have dealt with this battle and succeeded. I just want to know, can I?